My Scribbles and Caffeine

May 15

I love drawing during a class period. Class time is the best time to get inspired. :)

Oct 3

This is beautiful and so right.

“When I was in the third grade I thought I was gay
‘Cause I could draw, an’ my uncle was, and I kept my room straight
I told my mom tears rushing down my face
She’s like “Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k shrimp”
Yea I guess she had a point didn’t she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math like, “yea I’m good at little league”
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing god, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And god loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don’t know

(Chorus) And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
I’m acting strange
Even if I try
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
“Man, that’s gay” get dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ‘em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
A gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it

(Chorus)

And press play, don’t press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn the back on the cause
Till the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking ‘round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all
But it’s a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever god we believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time we raised up

(Chorus)”

(AZ lyrics)

Oct 21

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”

Rabindranath Tagore

Nov 7

“The pale stars were sliding into their places. The whispering of the leaves was almost hushed. All about them it was still and shadowy and sweet. It was that wonderful moment when, for lack of a visible horizon, the not yet darkened world seems infinitely greater—a moment when anything can happen, anything be believed in.”
― Olivia Howard Dunbar, The Shell of Sense

Jan 12

“Yesterday” - Atmosphere

I thought I saw you yesterday
But I didn’t stop, ‘cause you was walkin’ the opposite way
I guess I could’ve shouted out your name
But even if it was you, I don’t know what I would say
We could sit and reminisce about the old school
Maybe share a cigarette, because we both fools
Chop it up and compare perspectives
Life, love, stress and set-backs, yes
So you could tell me how hard you had it
And you could show me all the scars to back it
And we could analyze each complaint
Break it down and explain these mistakes I make
I like to tangle up the strings of the puppetry
But you knew me back when I was a younger me
You seen in all types of light
And I’ve been meanin’ to ask you if I’m doin’ alright

Was that you? Looked just like you
Strange thangs my imagination might do
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through
Or am I just goin’ crazy ‘cause I miss you?

I’m shook, I know, I pushed when I should’ve pulled
Took it all back if I could, I put that on my soul
And I would make a top-notch good listener
If you could block-off a little time out to give it here
Since we went our separate paths
I’ve hit a couple snags that remind me of the past
I can’t front, I’m havin’ a blast
But damned if I ain’t afraid of how long it’s gonna last
Sittin’ here wishin’ we could kick it
Give me your opinions, I do miss the criticisms
I didn’t mean to be distant, make a visit
I’ll wait up and keep the coffee brewin’ in the kitchen
But who am I jokin’ with?
There’s no way that you and I will ever get to re-open it
It doesn’t matter, this is more than love
And maybe if I’m lucky, get to see you out the corner of

And when you left, I didn’t see it comin’
I guess I slept, it ain’t like you was runnin’
You crept out the front door slow
And I was so self-absorbed I didn’t even know
And by the time I looked up it was booked up
Put it all behind you, the bad and the good stuff
A whole house full of dreams and steps
I think you’d be impressed with the pieces I kept
You disappeared but the history is still here
It’s why I try not to cry over spilt beer
I can’t even get mad that you’re gone
Leavin’ me was probably the best thing you ever taught me
I’m sorry, it’s official
I was a fist-full, I didn’t keep it simple
Chip on the shoulder, anger in my veins
Had so much hatred, now it brings me shame
Never thought about the world without you
And I promise that I’ll never say another bad word about you
I thought I saw you yesterday
But I knew it wasn’t you, ‘cause you passed away, dad

Looked just like you
Strange thangs my imagination might do
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through
Or am I just goin’ crazy ‘cause I miss you?

11 Years